being yourself, and preppy motivation

It's impossible not to. Part of who we are is our ability to completely alter our personality and behavior to fit our situation. "Be yourself" is an impossible task, because it doesn't recognize that we don't have one self.

Think about what would happen if the way you act with you best friend was the way you acted when you were meeting class mates for the first time. Most people wouldn't want to associate with you because acting to idiosyncratically while making a first impression just pushes people away.

Mom: Oh hi sweetie.
You: Hi.
Mom: Criminal Minds comes on later. You interested?
You: No thanks, maybe some other time.

Friend: Oh, hey!
You: Hey what's up?
Friend: There's a Criminal Minds marathon on!
You: Ugh, why do you watch that?
Friend: Because it's amazing!
You: Enjoy your Reid fandom, I'll be on facebook when you rejoin the sane.

By the way, Criminal Minds is the best crime show there's ever been.

More importantly, we do stuff like this every day. Part of "being yourself" is the knowledge of when to be polite and when to be casual.

The most revolting preppy bee hive clone is still in their own way being themselves- Part of being them includes following trends. If they pretended that abercrombie and sillybandz didn't appeal to them, they wouldn't really be being them.

It doesn't matter that the appeal comes from the familiarity of seeing it often, or from attracting the kind of people who they don't find alarming. Part of them being them is the fear of people who look and act different, a fear of unpredictability. They don't know how to handle people who express a desire to behave differently from most people, so they wear things that push them away.

Hell, I do the same thing. I was letting my hair go back to blonde after having it dyed an odd color, usually pink, for over two years. It's been normalish looking for months, but two days ago I made it purple because I was invited to a costume type party and didn't have a costume but since then I've become aware of just how bad looking normal was for my self esteem.

Looking weird I feel better, more confident... It assures me that the people who want to alienate me will stay away, and anyone who is dealing with alienation will get comfort from seeing me, and might even help me if some does try to make my life shit as punishment for my abnormality.

It's sort of a
"If I look normal, people might get the impression I care what they think and judge me
and since I do care about what they think and don't want to be judged
I'll make it seem like I don't and then they won't bother."

I have a friend who wears scripted tee shirts every day, because she's really socially awkward and hopes that people with the same interests as she has on her tee shirt will defend her when people make fun of her.

Part of being her is that she's care free and spontaneous with some people, but tense and frightened with others. Another part of being her is that she deals with this fear by being uncontrollably hyper with people she knows won't accept her, or meekly intellectual with people who might.

She can't "just be herself"- what is that even supposed to mean? Should she scream the Yeah We Like Waffles song, inquire about the nature of the universe, or talk about how she wants to hold a game of "everybody's it" in the local supermarket?

Next time you feel nervous about something and somebody says "just be yourself", remember that despite the useless crap advice you've just been given, it'll turn out alright. You already are yourself.